Category Archives: Conflict Resolution

Conflict Wheel (BIBLICAL CASE STUDY)


Description

This Biblical Case Study uses Sherrod Miller’s* “Information Wheel” to explore the conflict between Paul and Peter in 2 Galatians.  Participants will gain a deeper understanding of how to use the Wheel as they reflect on both Peter’s and Paul’s perspectives.

Materials: You can download the worksheet for this Biblical Case Study at http://www.teachingthem.com on the Lesson and Material Downloads page.  The file is named, “Conflict Wheel Form (Biblical Case Study).”

Explanation of the Wheel

Issue: Write down what the conflict is about.

What did you observe? Write down any facts about the Issue.  What did you see?  What did you hear?  Avoid opinions at this point.

What do you think about it? Write down your opinions about what you observed.

How do you feel about it? Write down any emotions you experienced as a result of what you thought about what happened.

What do you want for Stakeholders, Self, Others, Ministry? Think about each of these people groups, and write down what you want for them.  Stakeholders includes anyone who has a vested interest in the outcome of the conflict. Self is you.  What do you want or need? Others includes the other parties in the conflict. Ministry includes the team or the larger organization.  If you work for a secular organization, you can substitute Business.

What did / will you do? What did you do in the past related to this conflict?  What will you do now?  What will you do in the future?

Assignment:

Read Galatians 2:11-21.  Putting yourself in the position of Paul, fill in the Conflict Wheel to analyze how Paul might have reflected on the conflict immediately after it happened.  Fill in what you know from the Scriptures, but feel free to make up the rest based on what you know about Paul.

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Now put yourself in the position of Peter (“Cephas”), and fill in the Conflict Wheel to analyze how Peter might have reflected on the conflict immediately after it happened.  You will have to make up most of the information based on what you know about Peter.

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When everyone in your group is finished looking at the conflict from both points of view, discuss any insights you gained from using the “Information Wheel.”

* You can contact Sherrod Miller and learn more about “The Information Wheel” at Interpersonal Communication Programs, Inc., Evergreen, CO 80439 – PH 800-328-5099

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Filed under Biblical Case Study, conflict management, Conflict Resolution, Paul, Peter, Relationships

Conflict and Anger (DEVOTION)


In your table groups, read the following Scriptures, and discuss the questions that follow:

  • Mark 11:25
  • Luke 6:27-36
  • Romans 12:14-21
  • 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
  • Ephesians 4:26-27

What themes do you notice from these Scriptures?

 

Is it okay to be upset with someone?  What conditions does God place on anger?

 

How are we to act towards our enemies?  Why do you think this is so?

 

Read the parable of the Unmerciful Servant in Matthew 18:21-35.  Consider that this Scripture is most likely about forgiving a Christian brother or sister (notice that Peter asks about forgiving “my brother,” that Jesus is making a comparison to the “kingdom of heaven” and that the other man is referred to as a “fellow servant.”).  If that’s true, what is Jesus saying about forgiveness?  (Hint: the jail cannot be hell, and the torture cannot be eternal in hell if this is about believers.)

 

 

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Filed under Anger, conflict management, Conflict Resolution, Devotion, forgiveness

Conflict Escalation – David (BIBLICAL CASE STUDY)


Read the story of David’s war with his son Absalom in 2 Samuel and try to determine the events that relate to the Five Stages of Escalating Conflict.  When you think you have them all identified (hint: some occur multiple times), draw a graph on a flip chart, and label it with these events to show the 5 Stages.

The Scriptures you will want to focus on are: 2 Samuel 13:1-39; 14:21-33; 15:1-17; 18:1-17

 Environment

  • Conditions for conflict exist, but neither party has acted on them.
  • One side may even be unaware of the potential conflict even though the other side is resentful.

Eruption

  • A triggering event (or events) leads to escalation of the conflict by adding fuel to the fire.

Escalation

  • Intensified behaviors include demands, threats, ultimatums and open expressions of hostility.
  • Polarization occurs as people pick sides.
  • Opponents are dehumanized to make it easier to see them as the enemy, and selective perception filters out evidence that might justify opponents’ behaviors.
  • Fighting generates new grievances, sometimes becoming new triggering events.
  • Goals often change as initial solutions no longer satisfy.
  • Unresolved old issues are revived.

Endurance

  • Sides “dig in” for prolonged conflict.
  • Compromise seen as a sign of weakness.

End Point

  • Stalemate occurs as sides run out of resources, support or energy to continue.
  • Realization occurs that cost of conflict outweighs benefits of winning.
  • One side achieves a lasting victory.

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Filed under Biblical Case Study, conflict management, Conflict Resolution, David, Devotion, Relationships

Conflict Escalation – Samson (BIBLICAL CASE STUDY)


Read the story of Samson in Judges 14-16, and try to determine the events that relate to the Five Stages of Escalating Conflict.  When you think you have them all identified (hint: some occur multiple times), draw a graph on a flip chart, and label it with these events to show the Five Stages.

Environment

  • Conditions for conflict exist, but neither party has acted on them.
  • One side may even be unaware of the potential conflict even though the other side is resentful.

Eruption

  • A triggering event (or events) leads to escalation of the conflict by adding fuel to the fire.

Escalation

  • Intensified behaviors include demands, threats, ultimatums and open expressions of hostility.
  • Polarization occurs as people pick sides.
  • Opponents are dehumanized to make it easier to see them as the enemy, and selective perception filters out evidence that might justify opponents’ behaviors.
  • Fighting generates new grievances, sometimes becoming new triggering events.
  • Goals often change as initial solutions no longer satisfy.
  • Unresolved old issues are revived.

Endurance

  • Sides “dig in” for prolonged conflict.
  • Compromise seen as a sign of weakness.

End Point

  • Stalemate occurs as sides run out of resources, support or energy to continue.
  • Realization occurs that cost of conflict outweighs benefits of winning.
  • One side achieves a lasting victory.

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Filed under Biblical Case Study, conflict management, Conflict Resolution, Relationships, Samson

Conflict Among Believers (DEVOTION)


In your table groups, read the following Scriptures, and discuss the questions that follow:

  • Matthew 7:3-5
  • Matthew 5:23-24
  • Matthew 18:15-17
  • Luke 17:3-5
  • John 13:34-35
  • 1 Corinthians 6:1-8
  • Ephesians 4:1-3
  • Colossians 3:12-14

What do these Scriptures have in common?

Whose responsibility is it to take initiative toward reconciliation?  When does this apply?

How would you describe God’s view on conflict within the Body of believers?

Why does God want believers to be reconciled to one another?

What are some general principles you can take away from these Scriptures?

 

 

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Filed under Body of Christ, conflict management, Conflict Resolution, Devotion, forgiveness, Relationships

Unforgiving Servant (QUICK DRAMA)


Matthew 18:21-35

 

Two men enter with a prisoner in chains.  They bring him before a king and throw him down.  The king addresses the prisoner.

 

KING: “My records show that you owe me $3,267,500.  Pay today, or I will sell you, your wife, your children and all you own to pay the debt.”

SERVANT: “Oh, please, your Majesty!  Please have mercy on me!  I can’t pay you today, but I will!  I promise!”

KING: “Hmmmm… On second thought, there’s no way you could every pay off such a large sum.  You seem repentant.  Your debts are completely forgiven.”

SERVANT: “Really?  Completely forgiven?  Oh, THANK YOU, your Majesty!”

The servant leaves, bouncing out of the room while thanking the king.  As soon as he leaves the king’s presence, however, he comes across a man in the hallway and begins yelling at and choking him.

SERVANT: “You lousy rat!  Where’s that lunch money you borrowed from me?  You better pay up!”

MAN (falling on his knees): “Oh, I will!  I will!  I promise you will have all your money back, but I don’t have it on me today!”

SERVANT: “Don’t have it on you, huh?  Guards!  Arrest this man and throw him into prison!  He owes me money!”  (Guards enter and take man to prison.)

Several of the king’s servants observed the unforgiving servant’s behavior, and they quickly reported it to the king.  Enraged, he demands that the unforgiving servant be brought before him.

KING: “I’ve heard how you treated the man who owed you lunch money.  Because you are such an unforgiving servant and couldn’t overlook such a small amount after I had forgiven you of so much, I’m ordering you to be tortured by my guards until you’re ready to forgive that man.”

 

Isn’t it silly that the unforgiving servant couldn’t forgive a few dollars after he had just been forgiven millions of dollars?  God says that ‘s what it’s like when we won’t forgive people for things they’ve done to us.  Compared to how much God had to forgive us for, it’s like the difference between millions of dollars and lunch money.

 

When we won’t forgive others, our relationship with God suffers.  It’s like being in prison.  It won’t keep us from getting into heaven, but it will make life miserable.  But if we will forgive those who intend to harm us, God forgives us and fixes our relationship with Him again.

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Filed under Character, conflict management, Conflict Resolution, drama, forgiveness, Grace, Relationships, unconditional love

Lemons Into Lemonade (OBJ LESSON)


Time

10-15 minutes
Audience

Children, Teens, Adults

 

Description

This object lesson teaches about how God brings good things out of bad and uses the metaphor of turning lemons into lemonade.

Scriptures

  •   Romans 8:28

Materials

  • Lemons – enough for everyone to have a wedge after you cut them up and 5 or 6 for you to juice at the front of the room
  • Lemonade – enough for everyone to have some (I recommend Capri Sun Lemonade pouches for the ease of preparation, distribution and clean-up.)
  • Knife (to cut the lemons)
  • Juicer (manual or electric)
  • Bowl or Ziplock bag to hold the lemon wedges
  • Cup or bowl to catch the juice
  • Sugar (1 cup should be enough for the amount of lemonade you are making)
  • Water (approximately 2 quarts)
  • Pitcher (one)
  • Spoon (for stirring the lemonade)
  • Table to work on

Preparation

  • Slice lemons into wedges.
  • Set up all your materials on a table at the front.
  • Enlist a few helpers to help you pass out lemons and lemonade at different times during the lesson.
  • Practice the script.

Procedure

Use the following script (or modify to suit your needs):

  • “How many of you have tasted a lemon before?” (As you talk, juice five or six lemons into your cup or bowl, and have someone pass around the lemon wedges to everyone in the audience.)
  •  “Why don’t we all take a taste of the lemons you’ve been given.” (Demonstrate what you want them to do, and observe them tasting their lemons.  Comment on the sour faces.)
  • “They are pretty sour, aren’t they?”  (Continue juicing your lemons as you talk.)
  • “They make you think twice before taking a second bite, I bet.”
  • “You know, sometimes life is pretty sour. I bet this is not the first time you made that face.”
  • “The truth is, bad things sometimes happen to good people.”
  • “Sometimes it’s not your fault.”
  • “You may not have done anything to deserve it, but you are suffering anyway.”
  • “Maybe a bully picks on you or your brother takes your stuff or your sister tells a lie about you…”
  • “Those could be pretty sour experiences, and they might make you want to make the same face you made a minute ago.”
  • “But you know what? When life gives you lemons, God makes lemonade!”
  • “Yep, He uses the bad stuff that happens to us to make us better. He doesn’t always take the bad stuff away. Often, He sweetens it.” (Pour the juice, water and some of your sugar into the pitcher and stir.)
  • “One day, the same bully who picked on you may become your friend.”
  • “Your brother took your old stuff, but you got something better.”
  • “Your sister told a lie about you, but she apologized later.”
  • “God takes lemons and makes lemonade.” (Taste, make sour face, add more sugar and stir.)
  • “It may take some time for God to sweeten up your lemon juice, but I promise He will if you will trust him with your lemons.” (Taste and smile.)
  • “Ahhh! That’s good stuff! How’s your lemonade?”  (Show mock surprise when they protest that they only have lemons.)
  • “What? All you’ve got are sour lemons?”
  • “Let’s ask God to make those lemons into some lemonade.” (Signal some helpers to get ready to pass out lemonade as you pray.)
  • (PRAY) “Lord, all of these kids have gotten some lousy lemons in their lives. Will you please take those sour lemons and turn them into sweet lemonade for each person in this room? We thank you for your faithful hand in our lives, and we give you every lemon that’s ever happened to us. We love you, Lord. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.”  (Signal your helpers to pass out the lemonade.)
  • “Now, let’s have some lemonade to celebrate what God’s going to do with our lemons one day.”  (The Rhyme Time below can be used to reinforce the message of the lesson.  You can also have a volunteer read Romans 8:28 to show how God promises to make all things work for the good of those who love Him.)

 

Rhyme Time

If we trust Him and obey, God makes bad things go OUR way!

 

 

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Filed under Abundance, acceptance, blessing, Bullying, Challenges, Change, Conflict Resolution, God's Plan, God's Protection, Healing, learning, Lesson, Object Lesson, Overcoming obstacles, Problem solving, Transformation