Tag Archives: Stephen Covey

Emotional Banking (GAME)


Time
30-45 minutes

Description
This game helps participants understand the concept of Emotional Bank Accounts (EBAs).

Audience
Children, youth, adults

Materials
•    500 “Credits” for each team in the following denominations and amounts (100 Credit Bill (1), 50 Credit Bills (4), 20 Credit Bills (5), 10 Credit Bills (10)).  See the file “Emotional Banking Credits Currency” on the Lesson and Material Downloads page for printouts of the credits.
•    Copy of “Give a Big Hug” cards (two for each team – they are in the same file as above.)
•    Copy of “Emotional Banking Rule” (one per team – see printout at the end of this lesson)
•    Copy of “Debrief Questions” (one per team – see printout at the end of this lesson)
•    Envelopes for each team (one per team)
•    Markers
•    Flipchart
•    (Optional) A prizes(s) for the winning team(s)

Preparation
•    Prepare an envelope for each team.
o    Count out 500 “Credits” in the following denominations and amounts (100 Credit Bill (1), 50 Credit Bills (4), 20 Credit Bills (5), 10 Credit Bills (10)).
o    Place all “Credits” in the team’s envelope.
o    Place one “Give a Big Hug” card in the team’s envelope.
•    Prepare a Scoring flipchart or whiteboard for each round like the one pictured below.  (You will need five (5) total scoring grids.)
•    Practice the script.

ROUND 1    Team 1    Team 2    Team 3    Team 4
Starting
Balance
Deposit Made
(-)
Deposit Received (+)
Winner?
(Y/N)
Bonus
(+)
Penalty
(-)
Net
Balance

Procedure
Use the following script (or modify to suit your needs):
•    (Divide group into an even number of teams, and number or name the teams.  Group sizes are best between 4-6, but you could run the game with a “team” as small as one person.  Teams will be competing against each other to have the largest remaining balance.)
•    “We are going to play a game that will help us to understand some of the ideas behind an Emotional Bank Account (EBA).”
•    “If you are familiar with what a normal bank account is, you’ll be able to easily understand what an EBA is.”
•    “An EBA is an account that a person sets up in their mind when they meet someone.”
•    “Just like with a normal bank account, they then make deposits into that account and take withdrawals from it.”
•    “The balance in the account goes up and down depending upon whether or not the two people have good or bad experiences with each other.”
•    “Good experiences become deposits in the EBA, and the people will feel good about each other.
•    “Bad experiences become withdrawals from the EBA, and the people will feel bad about each other.”
•    “Does this make sense?” (Answer questions if anyone is lost.)
•    “EBAs are important for Christians to think about, because we want build relationships with other Christians and with people outside the Church.”
•    “If we are always taking withdrawals from other peoples’ accounts, it will be difficult for us to worship with them, work with them, minister to them or get them to trust our Savior.”
•    “As much as possible, we should be making deposits in their accounts.”
•    “This is likely to happen if we are showing them unconditional love in the same way that Jesus has shown unconditional love to us.”
•    “So, back to our game…”
•    “Each group is a team, and each team is in competition with every other team to end the game with the most “Credits” in your EBA.”
•    “’Credits’ look like these (show a few Credits), and each team is receiving an envelope with exactly 500 Credits in it.”  (Pass out envelopes.)
•    “While you are competing against all other teams for your final EBA balance, you will only be exchanging envelopes with one other team during each round.”
•    “Which team that is could change from round to round, but you will only exchange with one other team.”  (Designate which teams will pair with which other teams during Round 1.  You can simply pick the teams that are closest to each other.)
•    “Before you exchange envelopes each round, you will put a deposit of Credits into it.”
•    “It is important that you make a bigger deposit in your envelope than the deposit the other team makes to you, because an additional bonus will be awarded to the team giving the highest deposit between the two of you.”
•    “This will help us demonstrate the principle of sowing and reaping from Galatians 6:9-10, where Paul tells: ‘Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.’
•    “If you do good to the team you trade with, you will reap a harvest when I announce the bonus for that round.”  (If they ask, you can tell them that the bonus amount will change each round.)
•    “But Paul also says in Galatians 6:7-8, ‘Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.’”
•    “If you do bad to the team you trade with, you will reap destruction when I announce the bonus for that round, because you will have to pay it out of your Credits.”
•    “So, the team making the biggest deposit will reap a bonus, and the team making the smallest deposit will reap a penalty.”
•    “Does that make sense to everyone?”  (Check for understanding.)
•    “A few rules for the exchanges:
o    “A team cannot make a deposit to another team that is more than the total amount of Credits they have.  For example, if the other team has 200 Credits, you cannot make a deposit of 250 Credits.  That wouldn’t be fair to them.”
o    “Teams have each received in their envelopes two cards that say, ‘Give a Big Hug,’ on them.  They can put this card in the envelope with their deposit if they want to, but it will only be effective if there is a tie between the two teams.  In the event of a tie (i.e., both teams gave the same deposit), the team who ‘gave a big hug’ will receive the win.”
o    “Teams can reuse ‘Give a Big Hug’ cards given to them by other teams.”
•    “I will keep totals for each round on the flipcharts / whiteboard at the front of the room.”
•    “Here’s a copy of the rules of the game to help you strategize as a team.”  (Hand out ‘Emotional Banking Rules’ sheet to each team.)
•    “Are there any questions?”
•    “Then, let’s begin.  You have three minutes to come up with your team’s strategy for Round 1.”  (Allow three minutes for strategy.  At the end of the strategy time, have them put their deposits in the envelopes and trade with the team with which you paired them.  Have someone from each team come up to the flipchart / whiteboard and write in the ‘Deposit Made’ and ‘Deposit Received’ for their team.)
•    (If there is a tie, ask if anyone ‘gave a big hug.’  The team that ‘gave a big hug’ gets the win.  Mark the winning teams on the flipchart / whiteboard.)
•    (Announce the Bonus / Penalty for the round according to the following amounts:
o    Round 1 – 50 Credits
o    Round 2 – 200 Credits
o    Round 3 – 120 Credits
o    Round 4 – 240 Credits
o    Round 5 – 350 Credits
•    (Add these amounts as a Bonus to the winning teams and as a Penalty to the losing teams.  Then, tally the scores for the round, and announce them to the teams.  Follow this process after each round.)
•    (Between rounds, allow three minutes each time for strategic planning.)
•    (You can have the same teams trade with each other each round, or you can mix it up.  If you decide to change which teams are paired for each round, be sure you remember which teams are paired when you do the scoring.)
•    (After the final round, announce the winning team and award a prize if you choose.  Pass out the ‘Debrief Questions’ sheet to each team, and ask them to spend ten minutes going through the questions.)
•    (Then, as a large group, ask for general insights about Emotional Bank Accounts.  Some points that you might want to bring out if they aren’t mentioned are:
o    “Even large deposits can be a withdrawal from the other person’s account if they are less than we are expecting or less than we feel we have put into the relationship.  For example, you might be disappointed if you thought your reward for cleaning the garage was going to be a trip to an amusement park but then found out it was just a week without chores.”
o    “While the amounts we used for the game were measureable, the size of deposits and withdrawals in real life EBAs is highly subjective and based on each person’s expectations and what they tell themselves about WHY we did what we did.  For example, you might tell someone that they look very nice today and be surprised to find that they interpreted that as a withdrawal from their account, because they suspected that you only complimented them in order to get something in return.”
o    “Sometimes we get so far behind in a relationship that it is impossible to catch up without many, many consistent deposits over a long time.  However, we can also hope for forgiveness, which restores our deposits to our account right away.”
o    “Making deposits in other peoples’ accounts is not really about strategy; it’s about a genuine motive to improve the relationship.  This activity was a simulation to help us experience just a few of the aspects of EBAs, but it wasn’t supposed to be a perfect picture of them.”

Debrief Questions

1.    How was this activity like making deposits and withdrawals from Emotional Bank Accounts (EBAs)?
2.    When you believe you’ve given more to a relationship than the other person, how does this affect your feelings about the relationship?
3.    When you believe you’ve given less to a relationship than the other person, how does this affect your feelings about the relationship?
4.    How did the other team’s history of giving impact your level of giving?  Does this relate to real relationships in any way?
5.    If this had not been a competitive activity, what would have changed about your strategy?
6.    Was there anything about the “Give a Big Hug” option that was similar to real life?
7.    What additional lessons can you take away from this activity?

Emotional Banking Rules

o    Your goal is to finish the game with the most “Credits” in y our Emotional Bank Account (EBA).
o    There will be five rounds.
o    The amount of deposit you choose to make is entirely up to you (as long as it doesn’t break the next rule), but the team should have consensus about it.
o    You cannot make a deposit greater than the total of the other team’s balance.
o    Your deposit should be placed in your envelope before trading begins.
o    If you choose to “Give a Big Hug,” put the “Give a Big Hug” card in the envelope with your deposit.
o    Envelopes will be exchanged at the same time so that not team has an advantage.
o    Scoring will be done as follows:
o    The team making the largest of the two deposits will receive a bonus.  (The amount will change each round, and the facilitator will not reveal how much it is until the round is completed.)
o    The team making the smallest of the two deposits will receive a penalty.  It will be the same amount as the bonus of the winning team.
o    The team receiving the penalty will pay the other team their bonus.
o    In the event of a tie, a team that “gave a big hug” will receive the win.
o    Teams can reuse the “Give a Big Hug” cards that they get from other teams.
o    The facilitator will keep a record of all deposits, bonuses and penalties on a score chart.

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Filed under Agape Love, Christianity, Game, Games that Teach, Kindness, Love, Relationships, unconditional love

Big Rocks


Time

15-20 minutes

Description

This object lesson teaches the kids about spiritual priorities using an object lesson similar to the one FranklinCovey does about managing your time.

Materials

The sizes of the bucket/heart-shaped container and the cups can vary. You will want to practice with them to make sure you get the right effect. The aquarium gravel should fill the bucket/heart-shaped container until it’s somewhere close to three quarters full, and the large rocks should almost fill it when placed in the container by themselves.

  • Clear (see-through) bucket or heart-shaped container (craft stores often have large, clear, plastic hearts)
  • Separate box or bucket in which you can dump aquarium gravel (You will want to be able to pour out of it.)
  • Five, large drinking cups
  • Aquarium gravel (five pounds should be enough)
  • Permanent marker or label-making machine
  • Nine palm-sized rocks and one rock that is noticeably larger
  • Different colors of paint for the large rocks (optional)

Preparation

· Fill five drinking cups with aquarium gravel and label them as follows with the permanent marker or label maker (it’s important that the children be able to read the labels):

o Making Lots of Money

o Being Famous

o Having Popular Friends

o Dating the Coolest Guy/Girl

o Having the Best Tools / Video Games

· Set up a display table in your teaching area where everyone will be able to see what’s on top of it.

· (Optional) Paint each of your large rocks different colors, and allow them to dry completely.

· Label each rock with the permanent marker or the label maker so that you have one of each of the following:

o Love

o Joy

o Peace

o Patience

o Kindness

o Goodness

o Faithfulness

o Gentleness

o Self-Control

· Label your largest rock, “Jesus,” and set it aside out of sight.

· Practice the script.

Procedure

Use the following script (or modify to suit your needs):

· “I would like to do a demonstration about how our hearts work, and I’m going to need a volunteer.” (Select volunteer.)

· “Everyone say, “Hello,” to my volunteer!”

· “Okay, this bucket (or heart-shaped container) represents our hearts.”

· (To volunteer) “Will you touch the side of that container and see if you can feel a heartbeat?” (Allow volunteer to check container.)

· “Okay, so it doesn’t beat like a heart, but it will work for our lesson.”

· “Our heart is like a place where we store all the things that are most important to us.”

· “For some people, these are things like (as you mention these, have your volunteer hold up each cup for all to see and then pour the aquarium rocks into the container. When they are all poured in, the container should be about three-fourths full):

o Making Lots of Money

o Being Famous

o Having Popular Friends

o Dating the Coolest Guy/Girl

o Having the Best Tools / Video Games

· “Now, those things aren’t bad in and of themselves. God doesn’t say that we shouldn’t have those things, but He says that those things can make it difficult for us to fit even more important things into our hearts, like: (as you slowly mention these, have your volunteer hold up the rocks so that everyone can see the label on each one. After showing the group, the volunteer should do his/her best to fit the rocks into the container on top of the aquarium rocks):

o Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control” (You will probably need to give an example of a few of these to make sure the children understand.)

· (Noticing the struggles your volunteer is having…) “Hey, you look like you’re having a hard time there. What seems to be the problem?” (Listen to response, and comment on it.)

  • “So, you’re telling me you don’t have room for these really important big rocks?” (Listen to response, and comment.)
  • “Well, if you don’t have room for those, you sure don’t have room for this one…” (Reveal the “Jesus” rock.)
  • “The Bible calls Jesus “the Rock.” (You might ask your volunteer to read any of the following verses: Gen 49:24, Deut 32:3-4, Deut 32:31, 1 Sam 2:2, 2 Sam 22:1-3, 2 Sam 22:32, Psalm 18:31, Psalm 18: 46, Psalm 19:14, Psalm 78:35, Isaiah 26:4.)
  • “He is solid! You can trust in Him! You can build your life on Him! Jesus is the Rock!”
  • “Now we don’t have room in our heart for Jesus, and that’s a terrible thing?”
  • (Ask volunteer) “What do you think we ought to do about this?” (Listen to ideas. If your volunteer doesn’t come up with it on his/her own, suggest that maybe he/she could start over with an empty heart. Then help your volunteer take out the big rocks and dump the gravel into the spare bucket or box.)
  • “Okay, so we are going to start fresh! What’s the first thing we are going to put into our heart?” (Listen for “Jesus.” If you get anything else, redirect the volunteer to consider how important it is to start with Jesus. He’s the biggest Rock.)
  • “Excellent! Please put Jesus in our heart.” (Allow volunteer to follow through.)
  • “Now what should we put in?” (Listen for response. The big rocks should go in next.)
  • “Terrific! I agree! Let’s put in those big rocks next!” (As volunteer adds them to the container, remind the class of what each one represents.)
  • “You know, these rocks seem a little familiar to me. Does anyone know what they are called in the Bible?” (Listen for “fruit of the Spirit.” If they don’t know it, have them turn to Galatians 5:22-23 in their Bibles and read aloud.)
  • “Right! The famous Fruit of the Spirit! You know, you only get this fruit after Jesus is put into your heart.”
  • (Ask volunteer) “So, were you able to fit them all in?” (Listen for response.)
  • “That’s pretty amazing! I’m surprised you had room for all of them.”
  • “But you know, I can’t help but wonder…what would happen if we tried to put some of those other things that were important to us back in? You know, ‘making money,’ ‘being famous,’ ‘having popular friends’….”
  • “I said before that God never said we couldn’t have these things. We just have to put the important stuff in first.”
  • “Who thinks we could fit some of that stuff back in?” (Wait for responses.)
  • (To volunteer) “Well, let’s do it!” (Help volunteer to pour the aquarium rocks back into the container. You will need to gently shake the container as you pour to help the rocks settle to the bottom. When you are done, most if not all of the little rocks will fit around the big ones.)
  • “Now, THAT’S amazing! So, who thinks they know what this tells us about God?” (Listen to responses. Try to direct them to the main teaching point – if we put God first, we can still have many of the other things we like. But if we put God last, we will never have enough room in our hearts or time in our day for Him.)
  • “Everyone give our volunteer a round of applause for coming up to help out!” (Lead the applause, and then dismiss your volunteer.)

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Filed under Christianity, Hands-on, heart, Object Lesson, Priorities