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Conversation Starters for Teenage Girls (SCENARIOS)


Audience

Teen Girls

Time

30-45 minutes
Description

These scenarios are intended to provide conversation starters for teen girls and a skilled and caring mentor.  They can also be used in group settings, but an adult guide should still be present to provide perspective and wisdom.  The cards address many challenging situations in which young girls might find themselves.

 

Scriptures

o   N/A

 

Materials

o  Scenarios worksheets (attached – 1 per person) or “Conversation Starters for Teenage Girls – Cards” (a file that you can download at www.teachingthem.com on the Lesson and Material Downloads page.

o  Something to write with (if you use the worksheet – 1 per person)

o  Something to write on (if you use the worksheet – 1 per person)

o  Bible

Preparation

o  Review the scenarios and delete or pull out any that you don’t want to address.

o  Print the worksheets (1 per person) or the scenario cards (1 per group)

o  Practice the script.

Procedure

Use the following script (or modify to suit your needs):

  • “There are many challenging situations facing teenage girls today.”
  • “If you haven’t thought about how you will prepare for them or respond to them, they could surprise you, and you might find yourself under pressure to make the wrong decision.”
  • “Today, we are going to ask you to think about some of these situations and give your opinion about how you should prepare for or respond to them.”  (If you are using the worksheet, pass it out now, and let the girls have 15-20 minutes to complete it.  You can then discuss their answers as a group, or you can have them turn them in so that you can review them before discussing them at your next meeting.  If you are using the cards, lay them face-down in the center of the group, and have the girls take turns drawing one and responding to it.  Then, allow the other girls to share their thoughts, as well.  Sometimes what they say will be enough on the topic, but at other times, you may need to redirect them by sharing your perspective.  Whenever possible, reference biblical principles.)

 

SCENARIO WORKSHEET

Take some time, and read through each of the following scenarios.  Write how you think you should handle each situation on a separate sheet of paper.  Be sure to number your answers.

 

1.     You and your boyfriend have been dating for three months.  Recently, he has begun to bring up the subject of sex to get your opinion on it.  He says that he wouldn’t ever want to do anything that you didn’t want to do, but you can tell that he is hoping you will say it is okay.

2.     One of your girlfriends confessed to you that she has been thinking about suicide.  Her parents have been fighting for years and are now going through a divorce.  She is unpopular at school, and the boys make fun of her because she is heavy.  Recently, she has even stopped turning in her homework, and her failing grades are getting her into trouble with her parents and with school administrators.

3.     At a party, a popular girl invites you to join her and her friends as they take hits of acid.  You initially say, “No, thanks….I’m okay,” but they begin to make fun of you for being so “straight” and “pure.”  They laugh at you and tell you it’s time to grow up and stop being such a little girl.

4.     You are out driving on a date with a cute boy, and he reaches across you to open the glove compartment of his car.  As he does so, his arm brushes your chest.  You are embarrassed, but he is very apologetic, so you say it was no big deal.  However, an hour later, he does the same thing at dinner as he reaches for the ketchup.

5.     You and a girlfriend are out at the mall.  As she reaches to pick out a bracelet that she likes, you see that she has several dark bruises on her arm under her shirtsleeve.  When you ask her about it, she says that she bumped into something, but you aren’t convinced.  The bruises look like finger marks from her arm being squeezed too hard. You keep asking her about it until she confesses that her boyfriend got angry the other day and shook her a little.  She assures you that it’s the first time anything like this has ever happened.

6.     The word is out all over school about a famous celebrity sex video, and you are surprised to find that someone has sent you the link through email.  Your friend is watching over your shoulder when you open the email and tells you that you should click on the link.  “Everyone has seen it except us,” she says.

7.     Report cards come out, and you are surprised to see that you got a “B” in a class that you should have failed.  You didn’t turn in three assignments this semester, and you’ve been dreading getting your grades.  What was even more surprising is that your teacher commented on how much you’ve improved in getting your homework done.  You’re pretty sure that he made some kind of mistake in his grade book, but you are reluctant to bring it up, because an “F” means you will be grounded and miss this weekend’s social.

8.     A friend has started to look tired all the time.  She has dark patches under her eyes, and she no longer seems to have any energy or spark.  She has also been losing a lot of weight, which is confusing, because she eats more than you or any of your other friends.  You’ve begun to wonder if she might be throwing up whenever she goes to the bathroom after you eat out together.

9.     It is obvious to you that the girls who wear the tightest clothing and the shortest skirts get the most attention from the guys.  You’ve always been modest in what you wear, but it hurts that none of the guys is ever interested in you.  One guy even asked you why you wear “old lady” clothes.

10.  You’re out at the movies with a guy.  When he opens his wallet to pay for your tickets, you notice that he has several condoms in it.

11.  You catch your older brother looking at a pornographic magazine in his room.  He first begs you not to tell, then threatens to get you back if you say anything to Mom or Dad.

12.  You wake up late one night when you hear a noise in the dark.  You look out your window and see your older sister sneaking back into her room.  You look at the clock and see that it’s 4:30 a.m. The next morning, your parents tell you to wake up your sister, and you smell alcohol on her breath when you go to get her.

13.  You’ve got a new teacher – a young guy just out of college, and he is really cute.  All the girls are talking about him.  One day, he asks you to stay for a few minutes after class so that he can talk to you about your last paper.  He is very excited about your writing abilities and tells you that you have talent.  This meeting is followed by several others, and he offers to coach you to help you really develop your writing skills.  You have been meeting a few times a week after school for several weeks, and one day at your meeting, he reaches out and puts his hand on yours.

14.  One of your girlfriends just found out that she is pregnant.  She says that there is no way she can have a baby.  Her parents would do something crazy like sending her to live with her aunt in another state.  Her boyfriend is trying to help her raise the money for the abortion pill, and she has asked if you can help out with a little money.

15.  One of the girls in your first period class is upset, because someone stole her iPod out of her backpack.  This girl is really irritating and has always been mean to you, and you are a little amused to see that something bad has finally happened to her.  Unfortunately, you know who stole the iPod.  You saw one of your good friends listening to it yesterday after school, and you know it is the same iPod because of a scratch that it has on the back cover.

16.  You are at a school social with some friends.  When it is time to leave, you realize that the friend who drove you there has been drinking and is in no condition to drive.  You offer to drive for her, but she refuses and says that she is just fine.

17.  You are at a concert with some friends, and someone passes a joint down the row of seats.  You expect your friends to pass it back the other way, but to your surprise, they all take a hit and then pass it to you.  When you start to refuse, they begin to tease you and put the joint in your face.  They say that you are going to get high off the second-hand smoke anyway – why not enjoy it all the way?

18.  You’ve told your parents that you are going to a sleepover at a friend’s house, but when you get there, you find out that the girls have planned a secret trip to a local dance club.  They are busy getting dressed and putting on make-up so that they look “legal,” and one of the girls says that she is a good friend with the gatekeeper at the door.  He promised that he would let them all in as long as they looked old enough.

19.  While at the mall one weekend, you and your girlfriend meet a couple of cute guys.  They are from your school, but you don’t really know them.  You eat together at one of the fast-food places, and then the guys ask if the two of you can give them a ride home.  When you hesitate, they say, “Come on, it’s not far from here.  It will only take you a few minutes.”

20.  You get a friend request from someone on Facebook.  You don’t recognize the name, but they have lots of the same friends as you, so you approve the request.  As soon as you do, the person starts to chat with you.  You start to chat while looking up his profile.  Unfortunately, you still don’t recognize him, but he looks pretty normal in his photos and he goes to the same high school as you.  He is asking you questions about what you like to do on the weekends and when you aren’t working on homework.

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Filed under Challenges, Character, conflict management, Conflict Resolution, Coping skills, courage, Daily walk, Decision making, Fear, leadership, Obedience, Priorities, purity, Relationships, self-image, Self-worth, Sex, Sexual Purity, struggles, temptation, test, Witness

God Loves Variety


Time

20-25 minutes

Description

This object lesson teaches about how God created us all differently. It uses a little bit of water science to illustrate the different music God put in each of us.

Materials

  • Ten identical glasses or jars
  • Red, blue, and yellow food coloring (optional)
  • Fork, spoon or something else you can tap the glasses with to get a musical note
  • Water for the jars
  • Scotch tape or masking tape
  • Sharp marker
  • Note card
  • Table for the display

Preparation

· Fill eight glasses/jars each with a different amount of water, and set them up on a table at the front of the teaching area. Space them evenly apart with enough room to tap their sides in-between them.

· Fill the last two glasses with the exact same amount of water, and set them aside for later use in the lesson. Do not color the water in these two.

· Test the sound of each jar by lightly tapping it on the side or rim with the fork, spoon or other implement. Each glass/jar should make a distinct sound like the different notes on a scale.

· Use the food coloring to make the water in each jar a different color. You can arrange them in the colors of the rainbow – red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet – but you will need one extra shade of color for the eighth glass. (Optional)

· Number the glasses/jars by putting a piece a tape on each one and writing the number on the tape. The fullest glass/jar is #1, and the least full glass/jar is #8. The number goes on the teaching side of the glasses so that the child will be able to see it to play the music.

· On the note card, write the sequence of numbers for playing the songs (see final page of this document).

· Practice the script and using the glasses/jars to get just the right notes.

Procedure

Use the following script (or modify to suit your needs):

  • “For this activity, I’m going to need a volunteer.” (Take volunteer from the group.)
  • (To volunteer…) “Look at the table, and tell me what you see.” (Listen to response, and comment.)
  • “What do you notice is different about all these glasses/jars?” (Listen to response, and comment.)
  • “So, they have differently colored water in different amounts, right?”
  • “I think they may have another difference, too. Take this fork (or spoon, or whatever), and lightly tap the side of a few of the glasses/jars.” (Allow child to tap two or three glasses/jars.)
  • “Did you hear that? They made different sounds!”
  • “Does anyone know why that happens?” (Listen for responses, and comment. You may need to offer a fuller explanation…)
  • “Tapping the glasses/jars makes them vibrate, and the vibration produces a sound. The water slows down the vibrations, so the more water, the slower the vibrations will be. A slow vibration gives us a low note, and a fast vibration gives us a high note.” (If you are using jars with a small opening, you can also demonstrate that if you blow across the top of them, they will produce sounds, as well. However, the effect will reverse. The jars with the least amount of water will give you the lowest notes, and the jars with the most water will give you the highest notes. That’s because you are vibrating the air this time and not water or the jars.)
  • “Let’s see if we can play a song with them.” (Lay out the notecard for the song(s) you selected in front of the child, and help him or her to play the song(s).)
  • “That’s fantastic! Can we get a round of applause for our virtuoso musician?” (Lead applause.)
  • “Now, what do you think would happen if al the glasses/jars had the same amount of water in them?” (Take responses from group. Then bring out the two extra glasses/jars that have the same amount of water in them.)
  • “I think you’re right – they would all make just one note. Let’s test it.” (Have volunteer test the theory by tapping on the two new glasses/jars.)
  • “How fun is that? Could you play any songs if all the glasses/jars played the same notes?” (Take responses.)
  • “Nope, you couldn’t play any songs. Wouldn’t it be boring if all your music only had one note?” (Imitate what this would sound like by pretending to sing a song with only one note in it.)
  • “Isn’t it much better to have multiple notes to play?”
  • “Well, I think that is how God feels, too, and that’s why he made all of us so different from each other.”
  • “All of us are like different musical notes: we sound differently, we act differently, we look differently from one another, we like different things, we worship God differently, we pray differently, we have different talents and abilities…the list goes on forever!”
  • “And you know what? It’s OKAY! In fact, it’s glorious! It’s God’s plan!”
  • “One of the things I know about God is that He loves variety. I know that because of how different all of us are and how different all the plants and tress are and how different all the animals are…”
  • “God loves variety. He made you different from everyone else, and He enjoys you that way.”
  • “One of the traps we get into is wishing we were like someone else. ‘I wish I were handsome like him or pretty like her or rich like them or popular like those people…’”
  • “And then we look at ourselves and think, ‘I’m not as good as those other people.’”
  • “But let me tell you, that’s nonsense. The things that are different about you give God glory, because they show how creative He is.”
  • “So, even the stuff you may not like about yourself could be part of God’s purpose and plan in your life. It could just be His creativity at work.”
  • “Instead of not liking that part of you, you should ask God to help you see it the way He sees it. Then one day you will recognize how cool a thing it is!”
  • “You uniqueness is like your own special musical note that no one else can play.”
  • “So, anyone want to hear another song?” (Allow volunteer to play one to two more songs and then return to his/her seat.)


Notes for Songs

Mary Had a Little Lamb

321 2333 222 355

321 2333 322 321

Jingle Bells


333 333 35123

444 4433 332232 5

333 333 35123

444 4433 355 321

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star

11 55 66 5 44 33 22 1

55 44 33 2 55 44 33 2

11 55 66 5 44 33 22 1

This Old Man

535 535 6543234

345 111 12345

522 4321

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Filed under Christianity, diversity, Hands-on, individuality, Object Lesson, self-image

Cracked Pots


Time

10 minutes

Description

This object lesson teaches about how God uses everything for His purposes – even the things we don’t like about ourselves. If you act out the story, it can get a little messy (just with water), so you should consider that when selecting your teaching space.

Materials

These materials are optional. They are props for you to use when you tell the story.

  • Broomstick or 3” dowel rod – approximately five feet long
  • Twine or rope
  • Drill and ¾” (or larger) drillbit
  • Hammer
  • Scissors
  • Water for your two flower pots
  • Two plastic flower pots
  • Several potted plants or flowers
  • Bible

Preparation

· Drill a hole in both ends of the broomstick or dowel rod

· Drill three holes (equally spaced) around the top rim of each flower pot

· Use the hammer to put a crack in the side of one of the flower pots about halfway up. It’s important that the crack leaks steadily, but you don’t want it so big that all your water will pour out at once.

· Cut the twine or rope into six, three foot pieces.

· Thread each piece of twine or rope through a different hole in the two buckets, and tie it off on the outside of the buckets.

· Thread the three lengths of twine or rope from each bucket into one end of the broomstick or dowel rod.

· Make sure that the three lengths are identical, then tie the three lengths or twine or rope together on the opposite side of the broomstick or dowel rod from where you threaded them in. (Do this to both buckets.)

· You should now have two water buckets on either end of the pole. During the storytelling, you will carry the pole on your shoulders.

· Set out your potted plants or flowers on one side of the room, where you will be able to walk by and spill water on them. Leave the other side of this “path” empty of flowers or plants.

· Practice the script with your props.


Procedure

Use the following script (or modify to suit your needs):

· “Today, we are going to look at a story from the Bible about a Pharisee and a Tax Collector.”

· “During the first century when Jesus walked the earth, everyone thought Pharisee’s were ‘the best people.’ They were leaders in the church, who seemed to be very spiritual, and people thought that God must love them because they were rich.”

· “Tax collectors were considered to be ‘the worst people,’ because they were Jews who collected taxes for Rome and often stole money from the Jewish people.”

· “In this story, Jesus challenged peoples’ ideas about who were the most godly people.” (Get a volunteer to read Luke 18:9-14.)

· “So what do you think Jesus was trying to tell the people about being godly?” (Look for responses that involve the concepts of humility, pride, doing things just for show, authenticity, integrity, reprentance…)

· “You know, that story reminds me of another one…”

· “It is a story about a farmer who had to make a long walk for water each day down to the stream, where the clear water flowed.”

· “To carry the water back, he used two, large, pots that he had fashioned with his own hands. These he hung on either end of a long pole that he carried across his neck and shoulders.” (Show the pole with the two empty flower pots.)

· “Though both pots had seen some years, one was still in perfect condition.” (Show perfect pot.)

· “The other, however, had a large crack in it.” (Show cracked pot.)

· “Each day, the farmer went down the stream.” (Place the pole over your shoulders, and act out the story. Head to the place where you have your water waiting, and fill both pots full.)

· “And each day, he filled both his pots full of water. Then he headed back home.”

· “As he walked, the perfect pot kept all its water, but the cracked pot lost half its water on the path.”

· “The perfect pot was proud of its daily accomplishment, a full pot of water delivered to the farmer’s hut, and it had no respect for the cracked pot because of its inefficiency.”

· “The perfect pot thought to itself, ‘I am glad that I am not like this worthless pot beside me. I faithfully bring all that I’m given back to the hut of my master.’”

· “And to be sure, the cracked pot was ashamed of the way it wasted water on the way back to the hut each day.”

· “If only the crack were not so large or the distance from the stream not so far…”

· “It thought to itself, ‘My master has been so good to me, and I continue to fail him day after day. I’ll speak to my master and ask for his forgiveness.’”

· “So, the next morning, as the farmer was tying each of the pots to the long pole he used to carry them, the cracked pot spoke up.

· “’Master, forgive me; I’m a cracked pot.’”

· “Amused by this sudden revelation, the farmer responded, “’Why yes, you are! I’ve always known that you were cracked. I was there when it happened.’”

· “’Yes, but I’m ashamed that I’m only able to bring half a pot of water back to the hut each day. If I were whole like the other pot, I could bring back all that you trust me with each and every day.’”

· “’Little pot, if I had wanted two full pots of water,’” the farmer replied, “’I would have replaced you a long time ago.’”

· “’Have you not noticed the many, beautiful flowers on your side of the path as we make our way back to the hut each morning?’”

· “’I planted them on your side, because your crack makes it possible for me to water them each day as I walk. The other pot doesn’t share its water with the path, so nothing grows on its side.’”

The Moral of the Story

· “God is the farmer, and we are the pots.”

· “The cracks in the pot represent our sin, our imperfections, and some of our experiences.”

· “God takes our cracks (when we give them to Him) and uses them for His Kingdom and His glory.”

· “Through them, He pours Living Water on a spiritually dry and thirsty world.”

· “His Living Water brings life and beauty into peoples’ lives through us.”

· “No matter what mistakes we have made, no matter what our imperfections… God will use them if we let Him. Romans 8:28 tells us that:

‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.’ (emphasis mine)”

· “That’s ALL things!”

· “That includes that part of your body that you don’t like. It includes your scars. It includes your sicknesses. It includes the fact that you are small or big or skinny or fat. It includes the fact that you are not as smart as your brother or sister, that you aren’t good at sports, that you don’t know how to play a musical instrument, that you aren’t pretty or that you can’t read well.”

· “It even includes the bad things you do as long as you let God know you are sorry for them and let Him use them how He wants to.”

· “God uses everything – if we let Him.”

· “So whatever it is that you don’t like about yourself – get over it! God likes it, and He wants to use it to bless those around you. He wants to use your cracks.”

· “And don’t kid yourself. We are all ‘cracked pots.’ (I didn’t say, ‘crackpots,’ but I’m not excluding it, either.)”

· “Not one of us is perfect. The ‘perfect pots’ may look perfect on the outside, but they are cracked on the inside because of their pride or because of something else they are doing their best to hide.”

· “The difference between most of us and the ‘perfect pots’ is that we are giving God opportunities to use our cracks.”

· “He can’t use ‘perfect,’ because ‘perfect’ won’t admit that it needs God.”

· “Remember, God’s power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).”

· “If we pretend that we can do it ourselves, we rob Him of an opportunity to work through us. If we do it in our own power, we get the glory.”

· “The ‘perfect pot’ was proud of what it accomplished in its own power.”

· “But what it missed was the chance to be part of something greater than itself – to share Living Water with the world!”

· “You won’t find anywhere in the Bible where God asked us to store His blessings. He asked us to pour them out as we walk with Him.”

· “So, be a cracked pot, and let God use those cracks for His glory!”

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Filed under Christianity, Coping skills, God's Will, Humility, Object Lesson, Pride, Relationships, self-image

For God So Loved


Time
10 minutes

Description
This object lesson helps children (and adults) understand that Jesus died on the cross for each of us. It is intended to help them make a personal connection to John 3:16.

Materials
Slides or a whiteboard/flipchart made up with the three sets of text described below.

Preparation
Create the following three slides or write these words on a whiteboard or flipchart.

1. For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
2. For God so loved (person’s name) that He gave His one and only Son, that if (person’s name) believes in Him, (person’s name) shall not perish but have eternal life.
3. For God so loved me that He gave His one and only Son, that if I believe in Him, I shall not perish but have eternal life.

Use a different color for the underlined words so that they stand out. Organize these three slides/pages so that you can reveal them one at a time.

Procedure
• Before you reveal any of the slides, ask the class if anyone can recite John 3:16. (Allow several to recite the verse.)
• Show the first slide, and have the class recite it together.
• Say, “That may be the most well-known verse in the world, and it’s so important. It tells us that God loved us enough to send His Son to die a terrible death on a cross, and it tells us that if we believe in Him, we can be with Him in heaven forever.”
• Say, “I would like us to recite this verse again, but this time, I want us to recite it as a blessing to each other.” (Show second slide.)
• Divide group into pairs. If you have an odd number of participants, you can stand in to make the last pair.
• Say, “This time when you say the verse, I want you to substitute the name of your partner for some of the words.”
• Demonstrate to the group using a name from the group or a made-up name.
• Have the group recite the verse as a blessing for each of their partners.
• Then, have the other person in each pair recite the verse as a blessing for his or her partner.
• Say, “That was great! Now I think we are starting to see that Jesus died for each one of us. Even if your partner was the only one in the world, Jesus would have died for him or her.”
• Say, “Now I want to recite the verse again, and this time, you are going to substitute yourself for some of the words.”
• Show the third slide and demonstrate how to recite the verse.
• Have each person recite the verse out loud simultaneously, substituting “I” and “me” in the appropriate places.
• Say, “How does that make you feel?”
• Have the group recite the verse again from the third slide.
• Say, “Do you see? Jesus died for you! He loved you so much that He was willing to take your punishment for sin. Jesus died for everyone, and He died for anyone….anyone who would accept the gift of His death on the cross. I hope you will accept His gift.”

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Filed under Christianity, Eternity, Heaven, Object Lesson