Tag Archives: Love your neighbor

Emotional Banking (GAME)


Time
30-45 minutes

Description
This game helps participants understand the concept of Emotional Bank Accounts (EBAs).

Audience
Children, youth, adults

Materials
•    500 “Credits” for each team in the following denominations and amounts (100 Credit Bill (1), 50 Credit Bills (4), 20 Credit Bills (5), 10 Credit Bills (10)).  See the file “Emotional Banking Credits Currency” on the Lesson and Material Downloads page for printouts of the credits.
•    Copy of “Give a Big Hug” cards (two for each team – they are in the same file as above.)
•    Copy of “Emotional Banking Rule” (one per team – see printout at the end of this lesson)
•    Copy of “Debrief Questions” (one per team – see printout at the end of this lesson)
•    Envelopes for each team (one per team)
•    Markers
•    Flipchart
•    (Optional) A prizes(s) for the winning team(s)

Preparation
•    Prepare an envelope for each team.
o    Count out 500 “Credits” in the following denominations and amounts (100 Credit Bill (1), 50 Credit Bills (4), 20 Credit Bills (5), 10 Credit Bills (10)).
o    Place all “Credits” in the team’s envelope.
o    Place one “Give a Big Hug” card in the team’s envelope.
•    Prepare a Scoring flipchart or whiteboard for each round like the one pictured below.  (You will need five (5) total scoring grids.)
•    Practice the script.

ROUND 1    Team 1    Team 2    Team 3    Team 4
Starting
Balance
Deposit Made
(-)
Deposit Received (+)
Winner?
(Y/N)
Bonus
(+)
Penalty
(-)
Net
Balance

Procedure
Use the following script (or modify to suit your needs):
•    (Divide group into an even number of teams, and number or name the teams.  Group sizes are best between 4-6, but you could run the game with a “team” as small as one person.  Teams will be competing against each other to have the largest remaining balance.)
•    “We are going to play a game that will help us to understand some of the ideas behind an Emotional Bank Account (EBA).”
•    “If you are familiar with what a normal bank account is, you’ll be able to easily understand what an EBA is.”
•    “An EBA is an account that a person sets up in their mind when they meet someone.”
•    “Just like with a normal bank account, they then make deposits into that account and take withdrawals from it.”
•    “The balance in the account goes up and down depending upon whether or not the two people have good or bad experiences with each other.”
•    “Good experiences become deposits in the EBA, and the people will feel good about each other.
•    “Bad experiences become withdrawals from the EBA, and the people will feel bad about each other.”
•    “Does this make sense?” (Answer questions if anyone is lost.)
•    “EBAs are important for Christians to think about, because we want build relationships with other Christians and with people outside the Church.”
•    “If we are always taking withdrawals from other peoples’ accounts, it will be difficult for us to worship with them, work with them, minister to them or get them to trust our Savior.”
•    “As much as possible, we should be making deposits in their accounts.”
•    “This is likely to happen if we are showing them unconditional love in the same way that Jesus has shown unconditional love to us.”
•    “So, back to our game…”
•    “Each group is a team, and each team is in competition with every other team to end the game with the most “Credits” in your EBA.”
•    “’Credits’ look like these (show a few Credits), and each team is receiving an envelope with exactly 500 Credits in it.”  (Pass out envelopes.)
•    “While you are competing against all other teams for your final EBA balance, you will only be exchanging envelopes with one other team during each round.”
•    “Which team that is could change from round to round, but you will only exchange with one other team.”  (Designate which teams will pair with which other teams during Round 1.  You can simply pick the teams that are closest to each other.)
•    “Before you exchange envelopes each round, you will put a deposit of Credits into it.”
•    “It is important that you make a bigger deposit in your envelope than the deposit the other team makes to you, because an additional bonus will be awarded to the team giving the highest deposit between the two of you.”
•    “This will help us demonstrate the principle of sowing and reaping from Galatians 6:9-10, where Paul tells: ‘Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.’
•    “If you do good to the team you trade with, you will reap a harvest when I announce the bonus for that round.”  (If they ask, you can tell them that the bonus amount will change each round.)
•    “But Paul also says in Galatians 6:7-8, ‘Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.’”
•    “If you do bad to the team you trade with, you will reap destruction when I announce the bonus for that round, because you will have to pay it out of your Credits.”
•    “So, the team making the biggest deposit will reap a bonus, and the team making the smallest deposit will reap a penalty.”
•    “Does that make sense to everyone?”  (Check for understanding.)
•    “A few rules for the exchanges:
o    “A team cannot make a deposit to another team that is more than the total amount of Credits they have.  For example, if the other team has 200 Credits, you cannot make a deposit of 250 Credits.  That wouldn’t be fair to them.”
o    “Teams have each received in their envelopes two cards that say, ‘Give a Big Hug,’ on them.  They can put this card in the envelope with their deposit if they want to, but it will only be effective if there is a tie between the two teams.  In the event of a tie (i.e., both teams gave the same deposit), the team who ‘gave a big hug’ will receive the win.”
o    “Teams can reuse ‘Give a Big Hug’ cards given to them by other teams.”
•    “I will keep totals for each round on the flipcharts / whiteboard at the front of the room.”
•    “Here’s a copy of the rules of the game to help you strategize as a team.”  (Hand out ‘Emotional Banking Rules’ sheet to each team.)
•    “Are there any questions?”
•    “Then, let’s begin.  You have three minutes to come up with your team’s strategy for Round 1.”  (Allow three minutes for strategy.  At the end of the strategy time, have them put their deposits in the envelopes and trade with the team with which you paired them.  Have someone from each team come up to the flipchart / whiteboard and write in the ‘Deposit Made’ and ‘Deposit Received’ for their team.)
•    (If there is a tie, ask if anyone ‘gave a big hug.’  The team that ‘gave a big hug’ gets the win.  Mark the winning teams on the flipchart / whiteboard.)
•    (Announce the Bonus / Penalty for the round according to the following amounts:
o    Round 1 – 50 Credits
o    Round 2 – 200 Credits
o    Round 3 – 120 Credits
o    Round 4 – 240 Credits
o    Round 5 – 350 Credits
•    (Add these amounts as a Bonus to the winning teams and as a Penalty to the losing teams.  Then, tally the scores for the round, and announce them to the teams.  Follow this process after each round.)
•    (Between rounds, allow three minutes each time for strategic planning.)
•    (You can have the same teams trade with each other each round, or you can mix it up.  If you decide to change which teams are paired for each round, be sure you remember which teams are paired when you do the scoring.)
•    (After the final round, announce the winning team and award a prize if you choose.  Pass out the ‘Debrief Questions’ sheet to each team, and ask them to spend ten minutes going through the questions.)
•    (Then, as a large group, ask for general insights about Emotional Bank Accounts.  Some points that you might want to bring out if they aren’t mentioned are:
o    “Even large deposits can be a withdrawal from the other person’s account if they are less than we are expecting or less than we feel we have put into the relationship.  For example, you might be disappointed if you thought your reward for cleaning the garage was going to be a trip to an amusement park but then found out it was just a week without chores.”
o    “While the amounts we used for the game were measureable, the size of deposits and withdrawals in real life EBAs is highly subjective and based on each person’s expectations and what they tell themselves about WHY we did what we did.  For example, you might tell someone that they look very nice today and be surprised to find that they interpreted that as a withdrawal from their account, because they suspected that you only complimented them in order to get something in return.”
o    “Sometimes we get so far behind in a relationship that it is impossible to catch up without many, many consistent deposits over a long time.  However, we can also hope for forgiveness, which restores our deposits to our account right away.”
o    “Making deposits in other peoples’ accounts is not really about strategy; it’s about a genuine motive to improve the relationship.  This activity was a simulation to help us experience just a few of the aspects of EBAs, but it wasn’t supposed to be a perfect picture of them.”

Debrief Questions

1.    How was this activity like making deposits and withdrawals from Emotional Bank Accounts (EBAs)?
2.    When you believe you’ve given more to a relationship than the other person, how does this affect your feelings about the relationship?
3.    When you believe you’ve given less to a relationship than the other person, how does this affect your feelings about the relationship?
4.    How did the other team’s history of giving impact your level of giving?  Does this relate to real relationships in any way?
5.    If this had not been a competitive activity, what would have changed about your strategy?
6.    Was there anything about the “Give a Big Hug” option that was similar to real life?
7.    What additional lessons can you take away from this activity?

Emotional Banking Rules

o    Your goal is to finish the game with the most “Credits” in y our Emotional Bank Account (EBA).
o    There will be five rounds.
o    The amount of deposit you choose to make is entirely up to you (as long as it doesn’t break the next rule), but the team should have consensus about it.
o    You cannot make a deposit greater than the total of the other team’s balance.
o    Your deposit should be placed in your envelope before trading begins.
o    If you choose to “Give a Big Hug,” put the “Give a Big Hug” card in the envelope with your deposit.
o    Envelopes will be exchanged at the same time so that not team has an advantage.
o    Scoring will be done as follows:
o    The team making the largest of the two deposits will receive a bonus.  (The amount will change each round, and the facilitator will not reveal how much it is until the round is completed.)
o    The team making the smallest of the two deposits will receive a penalty.  It will be the same amount as the bonus of the winning team.
o    The team receiving the penalty will pay the other team their bonus.
o    In the event of a tie, a team that “gave a big hug” will receive the win.
o    Teams can reuse the “Give a Big Hug” cards that they get from other teams.
o    The facilitator will keep a record of all deposits, bonuses and penalties on a score chart.

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Filed under Agape Love, Christianity, Game, Games that Teach, Kindness, Love, Relationships, unconditional love

Ripples


Time

20 minutes

Description

This object lesson teaches about the impact of our actions on others. It uses silly string and will make a huge mess, but it’s easy to clean up, and the kids will enjoy it.

Materials

· Enough cans of silly string (a.k.a., crazy string or crazy ribbon) for 6-8 children to have one.

Preparation

· Get the cans of silly string / crazy string ready for the children to use.

· Practice the script.

Procedure

Use the following script (or modify to suit your needs):

· “How many of you know that the things you do and say have an impact on the people around you?” (Look for a show of hands.)

· “Let’s do an activity to illustrate this.” (Ask for 6-8 volunteers. Place the first one in the center of the teaching area. Place the others at different distances around the center volunteer. Make sure that the center person has clear line-of-sight for all the others. See diagram below.)

ripples

· “This person (gesture to center person) represents each of us, and all these other people represent the people in our lives. Our brothers and sisters, our parents, our friends at school and other people we know.”

· “When we say things and do things, they send off ripples like when a pebble is dropped into a pool of water.”

· “Those ripples go out from you and touch those people around you.”  (Hand the center volunteer a can of silly string, and have him/her spray it while turning in a circle. Silly string should fly out and hit all the people around the center person.)

· “Now, you can send out positive ripples, or you can send out negative ripples.” (Spin your volunteer once clockwise while he/she sprays silly string. This can represent positive ripples. Then spin the volunteer once counter-clockwise while spraying. This can represent negative ripples.)

· “Positive ripples usually make those around you feel good.  Negative ripples typically make them feel bad.”

· “What kind of ripples do you want to send out?” (Assumed response: ’Positive ones.’)

· “Sure, I knew that.  But sometimes when we say mean things or do hurtful things or even when we aren’t even paying much attention at all, we send out negative ripples.”

· “When people get negative ripples from someone, do you know what happens?” (Listen for responses.)

· “Many times, when someone gets negative ripples from someone, they send out their own negative ripples.”  (Hand one of the other volunteers – the one closest to the center volunteer – a can of silly string. Have him/her turn counter-clockwise and spray string.)

· “Those ripples go out from them to you and often to others around them – even people who had nothing to do with what happened between the two of you.  That doesn’t seem fair, does it?” (Hand another volunteer – one close to the second volunteer – a can of silly string, and have him/her spray while turning counter-clockwise.)

· “Those negative ripples go out and impact other people, who then sometimes give off their own negative ripples that affect other people around them and cause them to give off even more negative ripples.” (Hand out the rest of the cans, and have those volunteers spray in a counter-clockwise direction.)

· “When the negative ripples come back at you, your first temptation will be to send negative ripples back.” (Have all the volunteers do a few spins counter-clockwise while spraying.)

· “Before long, the first negative ripple you sent out could end up impacting lots of people – people you’ve never met.” (Point out any children left in the audience, who will no doubt have silly string all over them.)

· “But what if you worked harder at always giving off positive ripples?  What would happen then?”  (Listen for responses.)

· “The good ripples would go out and make other people want to give off good ripples.  Then those good ripples would make other people want to give off more good ripples to the people around them.” (Have the center volunteer do a turn clockwise while spraying. Then have the person closest do a clockwise turn, which will trigger the next closest person, which will trigger the next closest person, etc…)

· “That’s it!  That’s what I wanted to help you understand.  You could help a lot of people have a better day just by starting the first good ripple.” (Let the volunteers do a few last clockwise turns while spraying. Then thank and dismiss them.)

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Man and the Moon


Time

20-25 minutes

Description

This object lesson makes an analogy between Jesus and the sun and Christians and the moon. It helps kids to learn what why Jesus didn’t take us straight to heaven as soon as we became Christians.

Materials

  • Several white shirts for kids to slip on (large undershirts are easy to get on an off over their other clothing).
  • Black light

Preparation

· Plug in the black light near your teaching area.

· Have shirts ready.

· Practice the script.

Procedure

Use the following script (or modify to suit your needs):

  • “For this activity, I’m going to need four volunteers (or five or six…the number is not important).” (Select volunteers, and have them slip on the white shirts. Ask another volunteer to be in charge of turning off the lights when you ask.)
  • “I have a friend (Author’s note: I’m referring to me – you and I are friends, right?) whose son has a shirt that says, ‘Be the moon,’ on the front. On the back, it says, ‘Reflect the Son.’”
  • “It’s a great picture of our role within the world.”
  • “The moon, we know, sends out no light of its own.”
  • “These volunteers are going to represent the moon. Do any of you have any light of your own that you can show us?” (Take responses.)
  • “Right, because you are representing the moon, and the moon is really just a big, dead, gray rock…or maybe green cheese…but it doesn’t have the ability to send out light.”
  • “However, on clear nights, the moon can sometimes be so bright that you can see clearly by the light it reflects. How does that happen?” (Take responses.)
  • “Exactly! It reflects the light of the sun.”
  • “This black light is going to represent the sun for us.”
  • “When the sun sets… (have volunteer turn out the lights, and then turn on the black light. Try to put the light where the bulb cannot be seen by the audience. You just want them to see the reflection of the light on the white shirts.) …the moon rises, and it reflects the light of the sun.”
  • “’But how does that happen?’, you might ask. The sun is gone. Does anyone know how it works?” (Take responses, and add your own explanation if necessary.)
  • “Right, even when the people in the world can’t see the sun, the moon can (so to speak). The moon is just far enough away from the world that it always has a clear view of the sun.”
  • “Even when our part of the world has turned away from the sun, the moon stays where the light of the sun can still shine directly on it. That way, it can reflect the light back to the world.” (Have volunteer turn on lights, and turn off the black light.)
  • “When the sun comes back on a fresh, new morning, the moon is still there, but we don’t need its light anymore, because the light of the sun is far better than just a reflection of the light of the sun.”
  • “Our role as believers in Jesus is just like the moon’s role in the night sky.”
  • “You see, the Son (S-O-N….Jesus) has gone back to heaven, and the world can’t see Him.”
  • “But He left us here on earth to reflect His light.”
  • “That’s why God didn’t take you straight to heaven when you became a Christian.
  • “It would have been better for you to be in heaven, but God wanted you to stay here and reflect His light to those who can’t see Him.”
  • “We Christians have no light of our own, but it’s our job to shine light into dark places.” (Have volunteer read Matthew 5:14-16.)
  • “This world is like a house with all the lights shut off. You are like a lamp that shines light to everyone around you.” (Have volunteer turn off lights, and turn the black light back on.)
  • “Now, we live in bodies that are dead with sin, just like the moon is a big, dead rock.”
  • “If I turn off this light… (turn off black light) …they don’t shine any light to the rest of us.”
  • “But if they stay where they can see the light… (turn on black light) …then they will reflect the light to everyone else.”
  • “Our bodies are dead with sin, but our spirits are alive in Christ. It’s our spirit that is able to reflect the light of Jesus.”
  • “The people in the world don’t always know where the light is coming from, but it at least makes them curious.”
  • “They may not ask us about our light for a long time, so you might think they haven’t noticed it.”
  • “But I promise you, if you’ve done a good job of reflecting the light of Jesus, there is a time when they will come to you to find out where your light is coming from. Does anyone know when that time is?” (Take responses, and elaborate if necessary.)
  • “Sure, when the lights go out in their life….when something difficult happens to them like a fight with a good friend or failing a class at school or getting in big trouble with their parents…. Those are the times when things are darkest in their lives.”
  • “And when it’s dark, people naturally want to go toward the light. If they have seen your light before, they will come to you.”
  • “That is God giving you an opportunity to share what you know about Jesus.” (Have volunteer turn on lights, and turn off black light.)
  • “What we have to careful about is that we don’t allow the world to get between us and the Son of God.”
  • “Does anyone know what happens when the world gets between the sun and the moon?” (Take responses, and add your explanation if necessary.)
  • “Right, it causes an eclipse. An eclipse can happen when the world blocks the light from the sun so that it can’t reach the moon. Then the moon can’t shine the sun’s light.”
  • “This can happen to Christians, too. Watch this!” (Ask for several volunteers to come stand in between you and the volunteers representing the moon. Then have your volunteer turn off the lights, and turn on the black light.)
  • “These volunteers represent ‘the world,’ which is a name the Bible gives to sinfulness.”
  • “So, really, these volunteers represent sin in our lives.”
  • “When we are sinning, the light of the Son of God cannot reflect off of us.”
  • “A little sin blocks some of the light.” (Move volunteers around so that just one or two are standing in front of the ‘moon’ volunteers.)
  • “A lot of sin in our lives can block the light out completely. (Move volunteers around so that they completely block the ‘moon’ volunteers. Call up more volunteers if you need to.)
  • “Jesus is always shining His light, but it is only going to reflect off of us when we don’t allow ‘the world’ (sin) to get between Him and us.” (Have volunteer turn lights back on, turn off the black light and excuse volunteers to return to their seats.)
  • “One last analogy. If we understand where the moon gets its light, then we know that the moon serves as a reminder.”
  • “When the sun goes away at night, the moon reminds us that the sun is only gone for a little while before it returns.”
  • “Isn’t that really what we are supposed to be about as Christians?”
  • “The Church didn’t exist until Jesus rose again after His death and resurrection.”
  • “He created it, because He was going away, and He left us here to remind the world that He is coming back.”
  • “And He is coming back! The Bible says so. And on that day…” (Have volunteer read Revelation 22:4-5.)

They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever. (Revelation 22:4-5)

  • “I can’t wait for that day, but until then, Genesis 1:16 says, “God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day (that’s Jesus) and the lesser light to govern the night (that’s us).”
  • “How do you think we are doing with our part of the job?” (Take responses, comment and then end the lesson.)

A Few More Scriptures That Might Be Helpful

  • “Once for all, I have sworn by my holiness— and I will not lie to David – that his line will continue forever and his throne endure before me like the sun; it will be established forever like the moon, the faithful witness in the sky.” Selah (Psalm 89:35-37)
  • “The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory.” (Isaiah 60:19)
  • “The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.” (Romans 13:12)
  • “You are all sons of the light and sons of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness.” (1 Thessalonians 5:5)

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Filed under Christianity, Evangelism, Great Commandment, Great Commission, Intercession, Object Lesson, Relationships, Witness

Where You Focus



Time

15 minutes


Description

This object lesson helps children (and adults) understand that sometimes we don’t give people a fair chance and that it’s important to look at the good things about people, too.

Materials

PowerPoint file, “Where You Focus.ppt,.” a projector and a screen or blank wall.  (This PowerPoint is available on the “Downloads” page.”

Preparation

Set up projector and load file.

Procedure

Use the following script (or modify to suit your needs):

· “I’m going to show you a magic trick.”

· “On the next slide, there will be 8 cards.” (Show slide 2.)

· “I want you to pick one and memorize it… Have you memorized it?” (Show slide 3).

· “O.K., on the next slide your card is going to be turned face down.”

· “Was I right?” (Show slide 4.)

· “Pretty impressive, huh? Want to do it again?” (Show slide 5.)

· “OK, same thing – pick a card on the next slide and memorize it.” (Show slide 6.)

· “Got it?” (Show slide 7.)

· “On the next slide, it will be turned upside down.” (Show slide 8.)

· “I did it again, didn’t I?” (Show slide 9.)

· “Now a magician’s not supposed to reveal his secrets, but I think I’ll make an exception this time.”

· “How many of you want to know how I did that?”

· “Ok, watch this!” (Show slide 10, and ask one child to pick a card and tell you what it is. Flip to slide 11.)

· “Do you see it? Nope, not there – maybe it’s the upside down one.”

· “Let’s try again.” (Flip back to slide 10.)

· “Pick a different card this time, and tell me what it is.” (Show slide 10.)

· “Not there. Hmmm… We can’t have two cards turned down.”

· “Can anyone figure out how I did it?”

· “Right! None of the cards are the same.”

· “I know, it’s a dirty trick, but I showed it to you to make an important point.”

· “When you focus on just one thing, you usually miss everything around it.”

· “Sometimes, we do this with people. We focus on just one part about them and miss all the other stuff.” (For an example, pick on an adult or yourself.


· “If I focus on ______’s big nose, I might miss that he’s really funny.”

· “Or, if I focus on his ______, I might miss that he’s really smart.”

· “Does this ever happen to you?”

· “Do people notice just one thing and miss the rest?”

· “That hurts sometimes, doesn’t it?”

· “And it doesn’t feel very fair.”

· “You’ve got so many wonderful things about you.”

· “Well, God never sees just one thing about you!”

· “He always sees all the wonderful things.”

· “He sees the best in you and loves you just like you are.”

· “Can we make an agreement?”

· “Touch your neighbor and say, ‘I’m not going to focus on the bad stuff.’”

· “Touch your other neighbor and say, ‘I’m going to focus on the good stuff.’”

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Filed under Agape Love, Christianity, Focus, illusion, Kindness, Love, Magic, Object Lesson, Relationships