Holding a Grudge (OBJ LESSON)


Time

15-20 minutes
Audience

Children, Teens, Adults

Description

This object lesson teaches about the danger of holding a grudge (i.e., choosing not to forgive someone).  It uses an illustration from Where the Red Fern Grows, a great book about a boy and his hunting dogs, by Wilson Rawls.  In the book, the boy learns about an unethical hunter, who traps raccoons by using a weakness in their nature.  The lesson compares the trapper to Satan and the trapper’s methods to Satan’s way of trapping us with our own bitterness.

Scriptures

  •  Matthew 18:21-35

Materials

  • 2-3 foot log
  • Drill with a large bit (like the kind used for drilling doorknob holes into doors) and a small bit (the same diameter as your pegs or pins)
  • 3-4 pegs or pins (about 5” long each)
  • Hammer
  • Sandpaper
  • 2” ball of aluminum foil
  • (A diagram of this build is in the file called, “JJ – Holding a Grudge – Diagram (OBJ LESSON)” and it can be found on the Lesson and Material Downloads page at www.teachingthem.com.)
  • ALTERNATIVE: If you don’t want to build the trap, you could just show the diagram as an illustration.

Preparation

  • Drill a large hole into the side of the log – large and deep enough for someone to stick his/her hand in and grab a 2” ball of aluminum foil.
  • Hammer pegs or pins into the hole at a 45 degree angle so that the volunteer can get their hand in and comfortably grab the ball of foil but so that he/she will not be able to remove their hand while still clutching the foil.
  • Sand down the rough spots to protect your volunteer from splinters.
  • Put the aluminum foil ball into the hole.
  • These materials will make a trapping device to illustrate how Satan tricks us into holding onto something worthless even though we can’t get free from the trap while we hold it.  A volunteer will put his/her hand into the hole and grab the aluminum foil ball.  The simple solution would be to let go of the ball and get free, but sometimes we want what the ball represents too much.
  • Practice the script.

Procedure

Use the following script (or modify to suit your needs):

  • “There’s a great book by Wilson Rawls, called Where the Red Fern Grows.  It’s about a young boy and his hunting dogs.”
  • “At one point in the story, the boy finds evidence of an unethical hunter.”
  • “The hunter would trap raccoons by using a weakness in their nature.”
  • “He would take a fallen log like this one.”  (Gesture to log.)
  • “And he would drill a hole in the top, like this one.”  (Gesture to hole.)
  • “Then, he would hammer nails through the wood into the hole at a 45 degree angle, like these.”  (Gesture to pegs.)
  • “Finally, he would drop something shiny into the hole like this.”  (Drop in aluminum ball.  Ask for a volunteer to come up and pretend to be a raccoon.)
  • “My volunteer will represent a raccoon that the hunter is trying to trap.”
  • “Raccoons LOVE shiny things!”
  • “They can’t resist them.”
  • “So, when a raccoon sees something shiny, he reaches for it.”
  • “The raccoon would put his hand into the hole in the log and grab the aluminum foil ball.”  (Have volunteer reach into the trap and make a fist around the aluminum ball.)
  • “But while he had his fist around the ball, his hand was too big to pull his hand out of the hole.”
  • “He would struggle and pull for hours, but he wouldn’t let go of the ball.”  (Have volunteer pretend to struggle to pull fist out of the hole.  He/she can’t let go of the ball in order to get free.)
  • “Even when he saw the hunter coming, he wanted the shiny thing so much that he wouldn’t let go to save his life.”
  • “So, that’s how the hunter traps the raccoon.  Now, let’s make a comparison to how Satan traps people.”
  • “Let’s pretend that this trap is really a trap called unforgiveness.”
  • “My volunteer will represent each of us, and in this comparison, we are like the raccoon in the story.”
  • “The trap is a trap of not forgiving someone when they hurt you or disappoint you or forget about you or mistreat you.”
  • “The shiny ball is called a ‘grudge.’”
  • “A grudge is a bad feeling you have against someone.”
  • “It can be anger, bitterness or resentment.  It’s a bad feeling, but it feels good.”
  • “It feels justified and right sometimes to be mad at someone.”
  • “Do you ever feel that way?”  (Acknowledge responses.)
  • “I do.  It’s not good to feel that way, but sometimes we are tempted to.”
  • “When you hold the grudge, it’s very satisfying.”
  • “We spend lots of time thinking about how badly the other person treated us and how good it would feel to get even with them.”
  • “We feel like we SHOULD be mad at them.  If we don’t stay mad at them, then they will get away with the bad thing that they did without having to pay for it.”
  • “We want them to be punished for the bad thing that they did.”
  • “But here’s the problem…the grudge looks shiny and feels good to hold, but it’s really just GARBAGE!”
  • “There’s no real value in it.  Even if you got it out of the trap, it wouldn’t make your life better.”
  • “It wouldn’t fix any of your problems.”
  • “It wouldn’t even make you feel better, because it doesn’t do what it promises.”
  • “You think getting even makes you feel better, but it actually makes you feel worse.”
  • “And the whole time you are holding a grudge, Satan is using it to destroy you.”
  • “Satan is like the trapper who comes to kill the raccoon.”  (Have volunteer struggle to pull the grudge out of the trap as you pretend to be a trapper coming to get him/her.  Look menacing, but don’t scare your audience if they are young.)
  • “You can try to get free, but it’s not possible while you are holding onto the grudge.”
  • “Satan will use the grudge to steal your life – your joy and happiness – from you.”
  • “As long as you hold the grudge, you will be unhappy – I guarantee it.”
  • “The only good solution is to let go of the grudge.”
  • “Open your hand, and release it.”  (Demonstrate with volunteer.)
  • “This is called forgiveness.”
  • “It’s letting go of your right to get even with the other person.”
  • “It doesn’t mean that you have to like the person or have a relationship with him or her, but it does mean that you can’t wish bad things about them anymore.”
  • “When you forgive, you let go of the grudge and get free from the trap.”
  • “When you let go of the grudge, you show that you are trusting God to take care of the situation and do what He thinks is best.”
  • “Only God is wise enough to know what needs to be done in your situation.”
  • “When you trust God to handle bad situations, your happiness and joy will return.”
  • “So, here’s how it works again…”  (Have volunteer reach back in and grab the grudge but then demonstrate the next three steps with you.)
  • “Step 1 – Let go (of the grudge).” (Have volunteer let go of the grudge but keep his/her hand in the trap.)
  • “Step 2 – Let God (take care of things).”  (Have volunteer look up to God and maybe raise his/her other hand to demonstrate giving the grudge to God.)
  • “Step 3 – Get Free (from the trap of unforgiveness)!” (Have volunteer pull their hand from the trap and put both hands in the air to show that he/she is free.)
  • “Let’s say the three steps together – Let God, Let God, Get Free!”  (Have the entire group say this several times so that they get it.)
  • “So, don’t let Satan trap you into holding a grudge.” (Thank and dismiss volunteer. You can use the Rhyme Time below to reinforce the message of this lesson.  The Scriptures at the top are provided in case you want to tell the story as context for the lesson.)

Rhyme Time

Jesus helps me to forgive,

Holding a grudge is no way to live.

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Filed under Conflict Resolution, forgiveness, God's Will, Healing, Object Lesson

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